Happy Birthday Me.

Today is my birthday, I've gotten a lot of "Happy Birthday Kyleigh!"'s. But my boyfriend hasn't said anything to me yet. I haven't even talked to him. Watch when he logs on him completely ignore me. Like I'm not even his girl friend. I'll be alone, I feel alone. I feel idiotic and stupid and retarded.

How can I even let my mind wander into believing that someone LOVES me. Its impossible. I am a bitch. I'm exactly what they tell me, I'm not good enough for anyone. No one. I fall fast and I fall to hard. I cry for days then move on. No one has loved me back, and people lie trough there teeth everyday saying there my "friend". I don't have friends.

I don't deserve friends. They deserve someone better than me. They have people who are better than me. Why they stick by my side through happiness and depression is a mystery to me. I'm unbearable when I get upset, I'm almost always tearing myself down. I wonder if every time they make fun of me they know I'm dieing a little inside. I'm ready to go kill myself, their words hurt so bad.

Stick and bones may break you bones,
But words will never hurt you.

That's a complete lie. Who ever came up with that quote should die in a hole. If that's true, their is something wrong with me. But there is something wrong with me. With who I am. With who I want to be. There is always something wrong with
"Kyleigh Sanchez."
I hate my name. It just shows off my ugliness. Jennifer, or Maria, or Merissa, or Alisa, they all have beautiful names. And look were they are. They're living happy lives with there best friends.

Love will never find me.
Instead I'll sit alone
Regretting so deeply
That I ever let him go.

Eminem- Toy Soldiers.