What is so wrong?

People ask me why I'm so depressed all the time. I don't understand what's wrong.. I never understand why I cry. People say I want "attention" that's not what I'm looking for. I just want someone to understand.

Someone to know what i've gone through, and how sometimes life just seems to hard the take. I shouldn't be this way. I'm 12 years old, but everyone hates me. I barely have any friends at all, and the friends I supposedly have want me to kill myself? How is that gonna make me feel better. How is that gonna make me feel loved. How is that gonna give me something to live for.

Sometimes I wonder what its like in church, were god is your savor. Were u feel like someones listening, i never feel like anyone's listening. I see empty walls and no words spoken. A silenced room with cold stares.

I can't tell anymore but I'm crying

I keep being told that I've changed, that everything i was is no more. What am i? I can't figure it out.

Bye for now.. Kyleigh.

Broken Trust and Broken Hearts.

Thanks for breaking my heart.
Thanks for making me stronger.
Thanks for making me hate who I am.
Thanks for telling me I'm not good enough.
Thanks for sticking me in therapy.
Thanks for never caring.
Thanks for leaving me alone.

I'm heartbroken, and worthless, no love no affection, torn to pieces, torn apart, no direction, no heart, gettin old, the world has gone cold, left alone, the wind won't stop blowin, breaking down, can't save me now, i'm out of time, nothing left but this rhyme, its like a crime, that I can't be saved, i can't behave, i can't teach, I can't reach to preach, I can't grab your hand, i'm stuck in the quicksand, my body goes stiff, i'm staring down the cliff, one more step and i'm overboard, maybe i'll wash up on the shore, but i'll keep wanting more, keep wanting more, as there is no love to give, no life to live, more hearts are brakin, more lives are taken, we can save them all, we start off in a crawl, we learn to walk, then we run, run away from the past, cause we know this will never last, i'm done with the games, its just not the same, I'm not like i used to be, I'm no longer me.

Sadly.

~
Pretty isn't good enough,
You have to be gorgeous to get by,
Normal isn't what guys want,
They all want whores,
When the people with the best hearts,
Get the guys who treat them dreadfully,
The girls who can't stand straight,
Get the best guys and all the love,
Sadly for me,
I'm not even pretty,
I'm not normal,
I'm horribly ugly,
and I'm weird as can be,
So I get nobody.
Because to get somewhere in this world,
You have to be stunning and a whore,
Because sadly if you're not,
You got whats left over from them,
and unfortunately if you're me,
you get absolutely nothing.
~

Sorry.

I really should pay more attention to this. It's not like anyone reads it anyway, who wants to hear about the problems a teenage girl ends up going through and how she over comes whatever problem shes thinking of only to gain about 6 more. It weighs down my heart when i can't help everyone in need, I know it's impossible to help EVERYONE, but i seriously wish I could. Because life. Is. Hard.

I think I'm finally over Aidan. I want him a part of my life.. but he honestly doesn't want me there with him. He hates me, and I know he does. He's never liked me but I had some strange illusion that maybe just maybe he could care about me to. But nope, i was oh so wrong, he's "done" with me, I love how he lies to me to. I love how my sister lies to me. I like how no one tells me the fucking truth. It's amazing that I'm so stupid and so idiotic I actually believe people when they talk to me. I hate my sister.

I hate Aidan Broderick.

I can say he ruined my life, he's reminded me that I'm not good enough, that I'm not pretty enough, that I'm annoying, that I'm a bitch, he's called me a whore, and put so much stress on my life. I really wish some guy would come in my life that likes me for who I am, and not who I always pretend to be.

When I'm in a good mood, I'm the best person to be friends with, you just can't piss me off, and its hard for me to become angry at people. Unless you hurt me deeply I rarely get mad. Getting me mad leads to several things.

1. Losing me as a friend
2. A major ass whooping.
3. Life turned into hell.

I'm not in the mood to really tell you what I'm thinking of, because I really don't know anymore. My mind is scrambled I'm a puzzle that no one is willing to put together. It's hard to understand me, unless you really know me, and unless I tell you all my secrets, I'm glued shut.

Did anyone thinks of pliers? I'm pretty sure that could get the book of me open hahah

Well its 1am and I have school tomorrow.. and therapy.. and a school dance. I promise I'll update sooner<3

Believe it or not I love ya guys.
l(Yl_EIGl-l S@N(l-lEZ