Long time no type.

I haven't written in this blog for a good year. It's technically christmas eve now, so two posts ago I had written on christmas eve last year when I was rejected by Loucas. I won't go into to much detail, but he's doing very well. I miss him very much, I wouldn't consider him much of a friend, we never really did talk after that, but he did move quite a few states away. So, things happen. It's life, what am I supposed to do about it. But yeah, Merry Christmas.

I remember writing here how scared I was to go into the 7th grade, how I didn't want things to change. Now all I want is to be changed, to change, to be considered normal for once. I want to get out so bad, but I can't. Not yet. Soon enough. I just gotta enjoy this holiday.

But yah now being here in 8th grade it's difficult, mentally more than academically. I'm getting A's and B's, rather than C's and D's, like last year. I'd say this is quite and improvement. I've gotten better at hiding my depression with fake smiles, laughs, love and hugs. I still don't feel like I get any of it back. I hit 3 months no cutting the other day, I was proud of myself. I've wanted to many times but I haven't and it really is a since of pride. A major accomplishment someone like me can make.

I also promised myself I wouldn't go to the library ever again, but I lied because I still spend a lot of time there. I'm hoping I can limit myself to just going on thursdays now just to change out books. There was some Drama going on and I just don't wanna deal with people like them anymore. It's not worth my time and frustration. No one here is worth the pain they cause anymore, choosing between being myself and being what seems to fit in. I don't like to have to make that decision.

But yeah, I will be leaving this town. I will be going somewhere new. Soon enough it will be high school. Soon enough it will be college. and who knows, maybe i'll be with child, I hope not to soon though haha.

Merry Christmas Guys.
Cya.